Nouveau Départ
by Lune-Solei
Summary: Sequel to To The Past. Deals mainly with Odd and Sam and what happened between them, and her life. And how they're coping with it. R&R it's actually better than it sounds! Dark.
1. Chapter 1

1**Disclaimers:** I don't own anything except the plot. Please don't take it!

**Pairings:** None really in this chapter. See if you can pick them out!

**Note:**_ Italicized_ words are things that happen in the past.

**Rating: **PG-13 at the least I think.

**Warnings:** This is actually intended for a story I'm writing, but I think it fit for this story. So, I've used it in this. This fic has mature and adult themes, such as cursing, suicide, drugs, alcohol, and other things along those lines. I hope this doesn't offend anyone!

**Author's Note:** First chapter! Try and enjoy it?

She stumbled in, eyes blurry and feet unsteady. An end table crashed to the ground and she grabbed a doorframe, trying to stay standing, trying to focus. _What's wrong with me?_ she asked herself. She stumbled into the bathroom, fumbling with the light switches. A blinding glow lit the room and she closed her eyes, swallowing as her throat went dry.

_Smoke, lights. Music, dancing. A whirlwind of activity and a mixture of smells. Leather and sequins, bare flesh, laughter, screaming. Hips moving, hands snaking around, rubbing her back. Sweat and heavy breathing. A sultry voice, low in her ear:_

_"Dance with me?"_

_A small nod, leaning back into a warm embrace. Rock jarring through, a bottle being passed. Was something slipped in? Take a sip, smell the smoke. Your not doing it, just in the area, it doesn't matter._

Cold water hits her face and she shivers as it seeps in. Her head is dizzy, her mind slow. Her head raises wearily and she looks in the mirror. It's cracked and her face is reflected at least six times, she's to tired to count any higher.

Dark eyes narrow and she reaches up a trembling hand to touch the cool glass, another crack appears, running under the slight pressure exerted by her forefinger. Her hair is pulled back so that dark curls fall down around her shoulders and her red streaks hang on either side of her face, pinned in place by two twin skulls.

Her eyes flash to her hand which is shaking, nails tapping out an erratic pattern on the glass. One of them is broken and there's a dark red stain from the tip to the part that melds with her hand.

_"Wanna go somewhere more private?"_

_"I like the dance floor." She turns, smiling at the guy and running her hands up around his neck. "Dancing's fun," she adds. _

_"I can think of other fun things."_

_Heat rushes to her face, but it's just from the dancing. She feels a tap on her shoulder and turns around. He's...he's..._

She stumbles back from the mirror, hitting the wall and looking at herself. Her skirt is torn and her shirt is a deep crimson in spots. "No..." The words escape her mouth before she can stop them. She shakes her head, trying to clear it. "No. No. No..." she whispers over and over.

Her knees give out and she slides to the floor, sitting on the chipped and dirt-encrusted tile. "No.." she whispers quietly. Her knees fold up under her chin and her arms encircle them.

Slowly she gets to her feet, kicking off a shoe, absently wondering where the other was but not really caring. She ran fingers through her hair, removing the clips - _I like your clips, they're cool_ - and scruncii holding her hair back. As fast as she could, she removed her clothing, slipping into the shower and turning the water on hot. Scalding.

Skin burned and she bit her lip to keep from crying out, watching as pink water flowed down the drain. _Pink? Water's...water's...clear._ Her mind latched onto those words finally and she swallowed, slipping on the tile and falling to the ground.

_"What are you doing?"_

_"I'm dancing. Why?"_

_She sounded stuck up. Even to her own ears. The look of pain on his face deepened and somewhere deep down she felt sorry. So sorry. But she wasn't thinking, she was soaring._

_"Who's he?"_

_He tilted his chin, inclining it to the guy behind her, who she was dancing with. She half-turned, smiling at the guy who was with her. "Derek," he said._

_He nodded and looked back at her. "Why?"_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Why this way? Why not tell me?"_

_"Tell you? Tell you what?" Confusion rushed through her body. And the guy, Derek, passed her another drink. She flashed him a greatful smile, taking another drink._

_"I'll see you Sam."_

_He turned and walked away._

Her ankle, the one that had been shoeless, was swollen and purplish, tender to the touch. She tried to wiggle it and gasped, biting her fist. She stood again, shifting her weight off her injured foot and leaning against the shower wall.

Wet hair clung to her shoulders and she reached for the shampoo, trying to forget that night. It was so long ago. So long. Last night? Last week? A month ago? She couldn't remember. Her face scrunched up as she tried to concentrate but nothing came.

"Damn it!" she cursed, throwing the razor at the far wall. It bounced once and skittered across the moss colored tiles, laying by the drain. Her eyes dropped down to it and she swallowed. The blade was red, crusted over rust-looking flecks. The handle had the same colors, only a bit of turquoise showing through.

She closed her eyes as the water got colder and she cursed again, quietly this time. "God, why did this happen?" She looked down at her legs, seeing as if for the first time, the thin scars curling around them in somewhat intricate patterns.

_"Don't worry about him."_

_The arms held her tightly, leading her away from the retreating figure. "We'll have a good time," came the voice in her ear._

_Her eyes closed and she continued to move, not noticing anything different until she bumped up against a wall and felt cool air on her face and arms. "Where...where are we?"_

_Her mind buzzed and she couldn't focus. All she saw was swirling lights and dark shapes, everything had a twin. They were outside and she saw a back alley where random lights were being extinguished in windows above._

_"Ready for some fun...Sam?"_

_Her vision darkened as she felt him close the space between them, something warm and odorous pressed over her face._

**Author's Note:** Okay. Let's see, how to explain the above. The italicized words, as previously mentioned, are events that have happened in the past. There will be more indepth stuff pertaining to this. Don't worry. And it will be explained. Let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

1**Pairings:** None really

**Note:** Italicized words still mean the past.

**Rating:** Maybe...PG-14...

**Warnings:** Hints of prostitution/rape. Suicide/cutting, alcohol.

**Author's Note:** I hope you enjoy my fic. Please let me know how you like this chapter. I took my time writing it. Review and let me know what you think!

**"H**ey Odd," she said, walking up to him. He smiled, tilting his head to look at her. She looked a bit different, more...insecure.

"Hey Sammie, you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she replied, grinning at him. "So, what's up?"

"Not much," he replied. He stretched and she watched him, smiling a little.

"Why don't you and the rest come over to my house for a bit? We can hang out back. We have a pool..."

"Sounds great, I'll see if they want to come. Wait here so Jim doesn't yell?"

"Sure."

She sat down on a bench, laying along the seat, swinging her legs back and forth so that she kicked up the dust. The sun was shining down through the overhanging branches and she yawned sleepily. _I need a good night's sleep_, she told herself silently. But that was the one thing that had been alluding her lately, and when it did grace her with its presence it brought along haunting dreams that faded in the daylight.

_She had awoken in an alley, cold and alone. Not sure of where exactly she was. It was still dark out and a part of her wondered if her parents were worried about her yet. How long had she been gone? Her mouth felt like it had cotton growing in it and her stomach heaved when she started to stand._

_She sat down again, resting a few minutes before digging her nails into the brick wall and pulling herself up, starting down the alley, toward the road. Under a street light, she saw a phone booth and she stumbled into it, closing the door and grabbing the phone. _

_She dialed a number, not even sure if she'd put money in, but nonetheless it rang. A sleepy voice answered after several rings._

_"Hello?"_

_"Odd. It's...It's me. Sam. I need...I need you," she whispered._

_"Sam?" The voice fell silent for a moment. All she could hear was steady breathing and she swallowed, not sure how long the call would last, and she still needed to tell him what street she was on and- "I'm sorry Sam. Don't call here again."_

_And the line went dead._

"Sam? Hey Sam, you alright?"

She sat up quickly, smiling when she saw Odd, a backpack draped over his shoulder. Ulrich, Yumi, Jeremie, and Aelita stood around him. "I'm fine, must've dozed off," she replied, grinning at them and standing. Her forehead creased as she tried to remember the dream, but it was fleeting fast.

"Sam?" Odd's hand rested on her shoulder briefly and she jumped a bit, smiling again.

"Sorry," she replied quickly. "Come on, you all wanna go swimming?" she asked. At their nods, she started leading the way back to her house.

"You sure your alright? You don't seem all here," Yumi said softly to her as they entered through the back gate.

"Thanks for the concern Yumi, but really, I'm fine," she told her. "Hey, I'm gonna run in and change, help yourselves to whatever's in the kitchen and if you need to change, there's a room right next to the kitchen that's a bathroom," she said, running inside.

"What's up with her?" Ulrich asked, walking over and testing the water.

"She told me that she hasn't been sleeping much," Odd replied. He removed his shoes, looking at the backdoor. "I'm worried about her."

"That's great, just don't get caught up with her again. Keep it platonic, surface level, don't fall for her again," Jeremie said.

"Yeah, you remember what happened the last time," Ulrich said.

"What happened?" Aelita asked.

"She cheated on him. She's a great person, just a bit wil-" Yumi began.

"Stop it. Okay, just leave her, me, alone!" Odd exclaimed. "What happened between us concerns _us_ not you." He pulled off his shirt and jumped into the pool, ending the discussion.

Sam came out a few minutes later, looking a bit pale, a towel wrapped around her waist. She sat down on one of the chairs, gathering her hair up into a ponytail, watching as the others changed and entered the pool.

_She was laying stretched out on her bed, watching the clock. Something was happening at 12, something important. Something she had to stay up for. Something...something..._

_Her eyes felt heavy so she stood, pacing her room, alternating from looking at the clock to the window. What was happening? Something was. Something important...something that could get her in to trouble. Something that could..._

_The clock hit twelve and the doorbell rang. She froze, listening as her dad moved around, opening the door and talking loudly. Her mother's shrill voice filled the air, always shrill when she'd had twelve-to-many to drink. Always flirtatious, there would be trouble._

_She sat on her bed, staring at her hands. They were curled into tight fists, her knuckles nearly white from the pressure. She swallowed and shifted as she heard footsteps come towards her room._

_The door creaked open and hall light spilled around the figure of a man. A friend of her father's most likely. He entered her room, followed by her father, he was counting paper, probably the Euro's that this man had just given him. _

_"Samantha, this is Greg Klein. A very _close_ friend of mine. I'm sure you'll know how to be a proper hostess and entertain him?" her father said._

_She nodded, knowing that either way, she would be entertaining tonight. Greg grinned at her and she shuddered, watching as her father closed the door with another creak._

"Sam?"

Her eyes opened blearily, barely focusing on the spikey blonde haired boy in front of her. This one was to real, to gripping. She felt the pull and gave him a small smile before going limp in his arms, letting the dream pull her back down.

_The water was hot and steam filled the room within seconds. She stood in the shower, her head bowed against the on-rushing water, welcoming the burning. Anything that could bring feeling to her body again. Greg had left twenty minutes previously, probably sitting in her living room, enjoying cigars with her parents._

_She fumbled with the bag of shower essentials she kept on a shelf, her fingers refusing to bend and grasp the object she was looking for. Finally she grabbed it, pulling the slender razor out and studying it carefully in the dim light. The blades were still red, now running in rivults down the handle and over her fingers. She took a washcloth, lightly running it over the blades, cleaning them carefully. She swallowed, closing her eyes and biting a fist as she pressed it to her hipbone._

_The first slice was always the hardest._

**Author's Note:** Wow, that was darker than I intended! I'm sorry guys. Maybe I'll just discontinue it. Who knows. Should the rating up? I don't think so, but I'm not good at ratings... Please review and let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

1**Pairings:** Odd and Sam

**Rating:** PG-13?

**Warnings:** Nothing major except I'm sick and on meds and it might show through. Please forgive me if some things don't make sense.

**Author's Note: **As previously mentioned, I'm ill and slightly demented. I hope you enjoy the chapter and that nothing to strange was a result of my medication. Please review!

**"O**dd..." Ulrich started. He ran a hand through his hair, looking at Odd.

"Just say it Ulrich. You were right, happy? She's putting me through Hell again, she has me worried to death over her. Are you _happy_? Is this what you want to hear?" Odd demanded. He stood up, walking over to the window and looking out it.

"Odd, I didn't want to be right. But...you knew there was something wrong with her. Why don't you just, move on?" He side-stepped quickly as Odd turned, his fist hitting the spot where Ulrich's stomach would've been. "Odd!" Ulrich yelled, grabbing his arms. "Stop it. Stop beating yourself up over this, okay? Your just staying with her because you feel guilty over what happened to Elizabeth. That's why your taking it this hard."

"Screw _you_. It's _my_ life and I can do what I want. I don't need your input." He wrenched out of Ulrich's hold and stormed out of the room, grabbing his cell from the night stand.

"_Odd!"_ Ulrich yelled. The door slammed shut and he sighed, glaring at it. He looked down at Kiwi, who was peeking his head out from under Odd's bed. "He's hopeless, isn't he?" he asked. Kiwi whimpered, wagging his tail and crawled out, going over to Ulrich.

**H**e went to the park, just trying to find somewhere peaceful to be. Somewhere that was even the least bit normal. "Ulrich's wrong. I don't care what he thinks. He doesn't understand," he muttered. He shoved some branches out of his way, making his way down to one of the streams that ran through town.

_"Come on, the water's nice!"_

_"No way. It's freezing!" she laughed, pulling her foot out._

_"Sammie...?"_

_"No. I am **not** getting in that cold water!" she exclaimed. She sat down on the shore, crossing her arms to make her point. But her eyes were shining._

_"Fine. I hate to do this...but..." He got out of the water, grabbing her and managing to drag her, screaming, into the river. They resurfaced and she glared at him, brushing her hair back. "See, it's nice and warm."_

_She shook her head, splashing him. "Your hopeless!" she exclaimed, starting to swim. There had been a lot of rain that summer and the stream had swelled into a small river, the current swift._

_He swam over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist, and she turned, facing him. "I know, but you love me anyway," he said, smiling._

_She smiled back. "So conceited," she teased. He stuck his tongue out at her and she giggled, then grew serious. "But your right. I love you Odd," she whispered, then dunked him under, swimming away, laughing. _

They had been happy back then. But he had known something was wrong even then. Her eyes were always so haunted when they first got together, her posture rigid, tense. But he had shoved it aside, because she was wonderful, intoxicating. Every moment with her was like a dream and she was simply fantastic. He had loved her.

He still loved her.

He had gone home after that night at the club and told Ulrich what had happened and that's when Ulrich had made him promise not to see her again. So when she called for help...he had hung up. Vowing not to call her. What would've happened if he had gone to her? If he had helped her when she needed it. Would she be in so much trouble now?

His cell rang and he jumped slightly, pulling it out. "Odd?"

"Oh, hey Yumi. What's up?" he asked, trying to make his voice light. Trying to force his pain away. After all, he was the happy one right?

"Ulrich just called...are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Don't worry 'bout it Yumi. I'm great. Just...worried," he said.

There was a pause and he swallowed, looking at the water and watching the sun glint off it. "Odd. I'm at the hospital. There's...something's...just, come here, okay?"

"Yeah okay. Bye Yu," he muttered, hanging up. He stared at the water for another moment, remembering the sound of her laughter once again. It seemed so long ago, was it really only a year?

_"What do you want to be?"_

_"What?"_

_She propped herself up on her elbow, lifting her head from his chest and looked at him, her hair pooling on his body. "When you grow up. What do you want to be?"_

_He laughed a little, pulling her down again, one arm wrapping around her waist, the other combing through her hair. "I don't know honestly. Something original and cool, but not sure exactly what." He smiled when she wrapped an arm around him. "What about you?"_

_"Promise you won't laugh?"_

_He tilted her face up, looking her in the eyes. "I promise."_

_"I want to be an actress." He grinned and she turned her head, burying her face in his chest. "You promised you wouldn't laugh!" she protested, words muffled by the cloth._

_"I did and I'm not. I would never laugh at you. I think that's a great dream of yours," he whispered. She looked at him, smiling and he grinned back, enjoying the way the moonlight silhouetted her. "Your beautiful."_

_She blushed, shaking her head. "Don't lie, I know I'm not."_

_His eyes narrowed and he reached out, brushing his fingers against her cheek. "I've never lied to you and I won't start now," he whispered. She smiled as he sealed that promise with a kiss._

The hospital was cold and white and very bright. He found his way down the halls to the waiting room where Yumi was sitting, a chemistry book open in her lap. "Hey," he said.

She lifted her head, smiling at him. "Hi."

"What's up?"

"Her parents came. To take her home."

"What? But she's unconscious! Don't they have to wait until she wakes up?" he demanded.

"She was awake Odd. When they came and took her. She didn't say a word, except your name. I think she wanted to talk to you. She didn't look good Odd. And the doctor's...the doctor's said..." she broke off and swallowed. "The doctor said that there's signs of self-mutilation. Or abuse."

He sat down quickly, swallowing and shaking his head. "No. She would've told me if there was. She told me everything..."

"Odd, I think you need to talk to her."

He nodded, standing again as Yumi gathered her things. "I'm sorry Odd."

A small nod and he left. He took the long way to her house, trying to sort through his feelings. She had always told him everything, they had been completely open with each other. Their deepest darkest secrets were brought to light when they were together. She would've told him.

_"How long do you think we'll be together?"_

_"I don't know. Hopefully awhile."_

_"Awhile? I was hoping forever." She turned red as he looked at her and he smiled._

_"Forever sounds good to me," he purred in her ear. He laughed as she reddened more and pulled her closer to him. She winced at the sudden contact to her waist and he paused, frowning. "What's wrong?" he asked._

_"Nothing. Just...a bruise," she muttered. She lifted her shirt up a bit and he saw a long, cylindrical bruise on her side. The center had crusted blood. "I got hit with a bat at school."_

_"Ouch. That must hurt."_

_"Yeah, it does."_

_"Want me to kiss it and make it all better?"_

_"That's a myth you tell little kids to make them stop crying," she protested. He laughed. "Anyway, it'd be weird for you to kiss my side."_

_"Yeah, guess it would." He paused, looking at her and smiling. "So how about I kiss you here and it just...moves down to your side?" he asked. She raised an eyebrow at him as he leaned forward, kissing her lips. He slid his arms around her waist again, careful of the bruise, pulling her to him. Shutting out his thoughts because he knew they were right._

_It wasn't the first bruise like that he had seen on her._

**Author's Note:**Sorry guys. I've tried to update but I dunno. Things happened and junk. Lots of projects! Grr. Anyway, here's the new update!


	4. Chapter 4

1**Pairings:** Odd and Sam

**Rating: **Eh...none really. Just a blah kinda chapter.

**Warnings:** Still the cold meds which make me sleepy (even though they're non-drowsy). Otherwise, can't think of any...

**Author's Note:** Another chapter! Woot! I'm on a roll! Two days, two chapters! Go sickness go!

**T**he doorbell rang and she walked down the hall, toweling off her hair. Her parents had left, returned to work after making sure she knew the rules. No one in the house. No talking to the authorities. No...

She opened the door and froze. "Odd." He looked at her and she swallowed, shifting slightly at the look on his face. "Do you want to come in?"

He entered the house silently and she closed the door, leading him into the living room. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Better, must've been overheated or something. Can I get you something?" she asked, clutching the towel in her hands.

_"Is everything okay?"_

_She jerked, looking at him. "Everything's fine," she replied, smiling. It was forced, they both could tell._

_"Sam, I promised that I'd never lie to you, don't you think you could return the same courtesy?" She looked away and he reached out, touching her shoulder. "I just want to make sure that your okay."_

_She shook her head, scrunching up on the end of the sofa. She bit her lip and he watched as she began to tremble, crying quietly. "Sammie?"_

_"Just been fighting with my parents, that's all," she mumbled. "Nothing major. Don't worry Odd, I'm okay."_

_He nodded, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her against him. "I want to be able to worry about you. I like to worry about you." He heard her laugh a bit and smiled._

"I'm fine. I think we need to talk Samantha."

She stiffened and he regretted using her full name. She sat down stiffly on the sofa and he sat next to her. "About what?" she asked crisply.

"You. Yumi told me what the doctor's said." She paled visibly at his words, back stiffening and tightening her arms around her legs. "Want to explain it?"

"I don't see how it's any of your business," she snapped, eyes burning.. He paused, staring at her.

"Sam, what's going on? You used to tell me everything," he whispered. He touched her shoulder, looking at her intently. She closed her eyes, hunching over. "Sammie?"

"I'm sorry Odd. I'm sorry for everything, but I think...I think you should go," she whispered hoarsely. "_Please?"_

"No Sam. Not until you explain what's going on," he replied.

She stood suddenly, pacing the room, wringing the towel in her hands. "What do you want me to say Odd? Tell me!"

"I want you to tell me the truth. About the bruises. The cuts. Why your always sneaking around, or you never let me stay when your parents get here. I want you to be _honest_ with me. It's the least you can do after..."

"After what? After I 'ripped your heart out and stomped on it'? I think _that's_ what Ulrich said to me. Or maybe after I 'completely used and abused you,' as Yumi said. Or is after you caught me dancing with someone else. Doing nothing but dancing!" He started to interrupt but she shook her head. "I'm sorry Odd. Sorry that I danced with that guy. I didn't think you'd mind that much. I'm sorry things turned out the way they did. But if you expect me to just...I don't know, beg for forgiveness, I won't. And I won't go crying on anyone's shoulder either."

"Sam!" he yelled, grabbing her. She stopped, looking at him. "It was a mistake. A stupid mistake on both our parts. I don't care about that now. It's the past, what I care about is you, and what's happened to you."

_The phone was ringing and he reached over, grabbing it. "Hello?"_

_"Odd. I'm...Can I...Can I stay in the dorm tonight?"_

_"Sam, what time is it? Where are you?"_

_"I'm outside the gates. I just. I need to see you. Please?"_

_"Alright, want me to come down to you?"_

_"No. Just leave the door unlocked."_

_"Ok..." he stopped when he heard the dial tone. Wordlessly, he got up, unlocking the door for her and went to the closet to get extra bedding. Ulrich sat up as he rifled through the sheets and pillowcases._

_"What's going on?"_

_"Sam needs a place to crash. She said she'd be up here in a few."_

_"Are you sure about this Odd? You can get in serious trouble for this. Detention, Suspension, maybe even Expelled. Anyway, what's up with her. She always turns up when she's in trouble, what'd she do this time?"_

_"Shut up Ulrich," he snapped. He made a makeshift bed on the floor for himself and stood when the door opened. She ran in, closing the door behind her and threw her arms around him, burying her face in his shoulder. "It's okay, your okay," he whispered, rubbing her back._

_"Yeah...yeah..." She pulled back and he bit his tongue so as not to say anything. Instead he gently touched the side of her face, careful of the bloody lip and black eye. "I don't want to talk about it," she whispered and he nodded, letting it go._

He grabbed her arm, shoving up the sleeve to expose her wrist and arm. Small burns covered her skin and faint white lines spiraled up her wrist. "Why?" he asked quietly, tracing the scars with his index finger.

"I just...I just want to feel. I want to know that I'm still here..." she whispered, blinking back tears.

"Of course your still here!" he exclaimed, then stopped, looking at the burns. "They...your parents...they do this to you. Don't they?" he asked quietly.

She fell silent, biting her lip. "I really think you should go now," she murmured, pulling her arm back.

"No. Not until I get my answers. What do they do to you?"

She looked away, at the window, then the clock, then him. "They hit me. Or whatever they feel like," she replied, shrugging. "Usually when they're drunk or angry." He stared at her and she shook her head. "Don't look at me like that. Stop it. If I'd wanted pity, I would've told the world. I don't. So if your gonna keep looking like that then leave, alright? Leave!"

She spun out of his grip, retreating to her room and slamming the door shut behind her. "Sam!" he called, exasperated. He hit his head against the door frame and looked down the hall to her room. "Sam?"

"Go away."

"Come on Sammie. I'm sorry, but...it's shocking. Would you rather I not react at all?"

The door opened and she stood there looking at him. "I guess your reaction is normal," she muttered after a moment. He smiled a bit, going over to her and hugging her. "Just no pity and no charity. Please Odd. Just...anything but that..."

**Author's Note:** Kinda short, kinda long. More in-between. Trying to make them long for you guys but I'm exhausted. Please review to get a new chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

1**Pairing:** Odd and Sam: duh!

**Note:**_ Italicized _words are in the past.

**Rating:** PG-14 I guess...

**Warnings:** Hints of Prostitution/Incest, Drugs, Alcohol, and Suicide.

**Author's Note:** Well, it's four pages. So HOPEFULLY it's long enough for you people. Kind of strange. Beware.

_**S**leep eluded her that night and she sighed as she walked over to the window, leaning on the sill and watching the clouds scud softly over the stars. Lightening flared briefly, a brilliant gold on a black backdrop, somewhere near Paris. She pulled on a robe, wrapping it tightly around her as she turned and walked to her bedroom door. _

_Her parents were in the living room, entertaining again. She crept to the doorway, looking in. All she saw was dim lights glinting off empty and half-empty bottles. Her mother's laugh seemed to echo through the room and she wrinkled her nose as the scent of cheap booze filtered into the hallway._

_"I'm sure she wouldn't mind. She's a good daughter..."_

_She stiffened and backed away from the door, hurrying back to her room and dressing quickly in warm clothes. She stuffed her backpack full of clothes and flung open the window, climbing out._

_"Sam? There's someone here to see you. Sam?"_

_She ran down the street, as fast as she could, jumping from shadow to shadow, trying to avoid the street lights. She heard them calling her name, but she ignored them, running as fast as she could. She knew somewhere safe. Somewhere they'd never look..._

_**T**he music was loud and the atmosphere hot. She rented a locker, stuffing her bag in it and then made her way down into the Pit. She was already losing herself in the music. Already losing herself._

_"Here."_

_She looked up, seeing the drink offered her and took it. She didn't care anymore. Didn't care about anything. She felt the liquid sear her throat and burn her stomach. Her eyes watered but after a moment it felt good and she got more. _

_Numbness was the best medicine._

Sam laid outside in the park, her eyes half-closed watching the wind in the leaves above her head. Her wrists hurt as did her head and entire body, but that didn't matter at the moment. She was outside, in the fresh air, CD player playing, blaring music into her ears. Cloudless blue sky played hide-and-seek behind emerald leaves and sienna wood. She sighed contentedly, stretching in the dappled light.

"Hey Sam."

She sat up, pulling the headphones off and smiled at Odd. "Hey Odd," she said. She stuffed the headphones into her bag and looked at him. "What's up?"

"Nothing, just wanted to see you," he replied, sitting down next to her. She leaned against him as he wrapped an arm around her waist. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, you?" she asked. He shrugged his shoulders slightly and he reached out, taking her hands gently.

"You should stop. This isn't good," he murmured. He lightly traced the skin next to a thin crust of dried blood. She shrugged a bit and he pulled her closer. "This won't do. This won't help you at all."

"I know...but...it...un-numbs me," she whispered softly. She swallowed as he reached out, running his fingers through her hair softly. "I just...like to, you know, _feel..."_

"I know," he whispered. He tilted her chin so that she was looking him in the eyes. "But you need to stop," he murmured. She gave a small smile and closed her eyes as he kissed her gently.

_"What're you doing here?"_

_"I wanted to see you...I needed to see you..." She shifted from one foot to the other, biting her lip as she stood in the school courtyard, looking at him._

_"Go away Sam," he said coldly. He turned to go but she grabbed his arm._

_"Please Odd, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please, just...**listen to me!**" she cried out, grabbing his arm. He was aware of the eyes of other students on him, on them. On her ragged appearance, the way her hair was tangled and clothes muddy. The bloody cuts and the black eyes._

_"I've listened to you enough. Go away."_

_"Odd!" _

_He pulled away, spying Ulrich and Yumi in the scattered students and making his way over to them. Ulrich watched her with an indifferent face but Yumi looked furious. And not at her, at him. "Come on guys," he said._

_Ulrich nodded, walking with him but Yumi stayed fixed to her spot, glaring at them both. "How can you?" she demanded. They exchanged glances as she shoved past students, knocking Sissi into a wall, and went over to Sam, talking to her._

_She never told him what they had said._

Sam looked at him, her eyes wide. "Why? You told me you never wanted to see me again."

"I was wrong. I regretted it."

"You moved on. Elizabeth, that was her name, right?"

"Right..." He trailed off, swallowing a bit. "Yeah, that was her name. But she was...nothing compared to you." He saw her smile and a warm sense of happiness spread through his chest. He rested his head against hers and they sat together, watching the river roll slowly by in front of them.

"Odd...I'm sorry. For all the crap I've put you through."

"It's okay. I'm just glad that I can be here for you. I'm just glad that your still okay."

She flashed him a smile, tilting her head. "I'm always okay Odd. Always." He rolled his eyes, but gave her a small smile.

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered. "Come on, there's a carnival in town, want to go?"

"Now?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Isn't it better at night? When it's all lit up?" she asked.

"True...okay, then tonight?"

"Yeah, that's perfect."

_It was snowing._

_The first snow that year and it was falling lightly, yet covering everything in a fresh new blanket. Everything looked so clean and magical, like out of those winter-wonderland books. She grabbed a hat, cramming it on her head and wrapped a scarf tightly around her neck, heading outside. _

_It wasn't exactly cold yet, not at first anyway. It was the kind of cold that crept up on you, the kind that infiltrated your body slowly. The Trojan Horse of coldness, a sneak attack that could leave you breathless and numb. _

_The kind of cold she loved._

_She walked down the street carefully, watching as everything became distorted and took on a new shape. Millions of snowflakes, all perfect, all unique, came from the sky, landing on her jacket, the street, catching on the bare branches of hibernating trees. She twirled around, laughing as she caught a few on her tongue._

_Her coat flapped in the wind, but she was hurrying along, trying to get somewhere, somewhere fast. Her mind wobbled, trying to focus but she ignored it, focusing instead on moving. Moving forward, never back.. Around the bend carnival lights lit up the sky, glowing brightly in the white whirlwind._

_She paused at the gate, looking up at the massive ferris wheel. She heard laughter and saw people running, drinking hot drinks. There was something...about...the carnival. What was it? Someone grabbed her arm, called her name. _

_A familiar face, a smile. She returned it, letting them lead her off. Farther from the lights, the laughter, the warmth. Towards a back alley, also familiar. Another voice, also familiar, calling her name. _

_Never go back._

"I promise I'll be there...this time."

_Hot lights and sultry music, blaring through the loudspeakers, rocking her body. She let him take her coat and put it...somewhere. She let him lead her out to the dance floor. Let him slide his arms wrap around her waist, hands touching her bare back._

_Bare back? Why? It was winter..._

_Her mind couldn't focus. She was losing control. He handed her another drink, she took a sip. It was hot and burning and it seared her throat, making her eyes water. Whispers in her ear, people bumping in to her. Thoughts churning, more liquid._

_The fire isn't so bad now._

_Lips against her neck, she tried to shove him away but her arms wouldn't move. Her mouth wouldn't work either. A new song, electric chords ringing through the din, people yelling, screaming, bouncing off the walls. A hand slid up her skirt and she tried to shove him away._

_Why wasn't anyone helping her? Couldn't they see that she wasn't having fun anymore? That she wasn't enjoying this? Strong arms encased her, pulling her to him and she looked up at the face, as though seeing it for the first time. _

_"I'm so glad you came with me Sam."_

_Her eyes watered and she looked away, trying to find an exit, trying to make her body move. Her head spun and she felt the liquid burning its way back up her throat, trying to find an escape._

_Her lips cracked as she whispered quietly. He tilted her chin up so he could hear her words better. "Wasn't last night good enough dad?"_

Odd grabbed her, shaking her as she fell back. "Sam? Sam!" he shouted.

Her eyes closed and he laid her down carefully on the grass. A lock of hair fell in her face and he reached out, gently brushing it back from her eyes. He looked around, but they were still alone.

"Sammie..." he whispered softly. He grabbed his jacket, going down to the river and dunking it in, then wrung it out. He walked back up the slope and sat next to her again, lightly pressing the wet cloth to her face.

_She wandered the streets for awhile, it was so cold. Her body throbbed, yet felt numb at the same time. Vaguely she could hear her teeth chattering. She walked by Kadic, letting her hand brush against the frozen fence, feeling the cold shoot up her nerves. It was nice to feel._

_The house was quiet when she entered. The parents gone. She walked into her room, turning on the CD player, not caring what was playing as long as it was loud and rock. Her reflection stared back at her through the bathroom mirror and she walked over to it. A perfect Samantha-replica. Mirror-image bruises, cuts, and scrapes. She reached up with a finger, lightly tracing her face. _

_Finally seeing herself as she was. She grabbed a hairbrush, screaming as she hit the glass with it. A small crack formed as the hairbrush broke in two. Still screaming, she pounded the glass with her fists, willing it to break. Cracks formed everywhere, splitting her image again, and again, and again. _

_She sank to the ground, not looking at her reflection, instead pulling her knees up and letting tears fall. They stung as they hit open wounds or hit sensitive areas. Finally she stood up and undressed, entering the shower._

_Her razor sat on the ledge. It was new, never-before-used. Carefully she picked it up and then she made the first slice. Red liquid ran down her legs in streams, entering the drain. Instant warmth filled her body, crying out in pain, crying out for **more. **A small smile formed on her lips as she moved the razor to her arms, letting it scrape away the skin, the dirt, the grime. Blood cleansed the wounds, pooling at her feet and then in the drain. _

_She tilted her head back, letting the water hit her in the face. Like a thousand tiny needles they hit sharply. Her body ached and her head swam but she had to continue. Had to get rid of **all** the dirt. All the filth. All that she was._

_She pulled the skin that was caught in the blades free and started again._

**Author's Note:** O.o Wow...that turned out...different then what I was going for. I hope you guys liked it nevertheless. Let me know, k?****


	6. Chapter 6

1**Pairing:** Odd and Sam

**Note:** _Italics_ mean it happened in the past.

**Rating:** Pg-14-ish.

**Warnings:** This has rape, prostitution, and suicidal tendencies in it. Please don't read if you can't handle it. You have been warned.

**Author's Note:** I've been really busy lately, sorry guys. But I'm back and writing. So, please forgive me and enjoy the chapter.

Brightlights lit up the sky and she smiled as she crossed the street and approached the ticket booth. A line of kids, teens, and adults stretched halfway down the walkway and she went to take her place, blowing warm air on numb fingers.

"Sam!"

She looked up, smiling when she saw Odd walking toward her. "Hey, I'll be there in a moment, let me get my tickets," she called. Odd nodded, sitting on a bench inside the carnival gates. "Handstamp please," she said as she handed the money over.

The guy behind the booth took the stamp, rolling it in the glow-in-the-dark ink before stamping it on her hand. "Have a nice time," he said.

"Thanks," she said, smiling brightly at him. She followed the crowd of people inside, smiling as she made her way over to the bench he was sitting on. "Hey," she said.

"Hey," he replied. He jumped down, wrapping an arm around her. "How are you?"

"I'm good. Really, really good." She grinned at him. A northern wind blew lazily through the carnival and she smiled, twirling on the hard ground. The crunching of leaves and brittle grass followed her and Odd smiled as he watched her.

"You seem to be in a good mood."

"I love this kind of weather," she sighed, leaning against him.

"I can tell," he teased. She laughed, running fingers through his hair. He smiled at her. "Where to first?" he asked.

"I don't care, we can do anything. I feel like I'm on top of the world tonight," she laughed. She pulled out of his arms, twirling, wide-armed again in the lanes between attractions. People passing by gave her strange looks, but she seemed oblivious to their stares, laughing as the wind blew fallen leaves around them.

_"Careful Sammy...don't get lost."_

_She smiled, watching the leaves blow through the carnival, silhouetted by the bright lights. Children her age were running through the pathways, shoving grimy Euros into the hands of vendors and eating sticky cotton candy, corn dogs, sodas, popcorn, and various candies. Others were standing in line, shoving each other to get on the ride first. _

_"Come on Sammy, let's go on the Ferris wheel."_

_She turned, smiling up at Mommy, taking the offered hand. They made their way past the various booths and roller coasters. A small petting zoo was tucked into a corner. "Come on Samantha," Mommy said, tugging her along. They got in line for the Ferris wheel_ _and she stared around her at the falling leaves and dull coats and jackets of the carnival-goers._

She felt the harness being lowered over her and she looked around confusedly. She didn't remember getting onto the ride. But that didn't matter. Odd was next to her, grinning and holding her hand tightly in his. She smiled back at him as the ride started with a great clanking. They were up, soaring down the track, turning upside down and looping back again.

They were all screaming, hands raised toward the sky, now the ground, now the sky again. She felt one of her gloves come loose and spiral away in the wind but she didn't care, she just grinned again at him. He smiled back at her, finally letting himself hope that she was returning to normal. That she would be alright.

A screaming monster hurled toward them, eyes glowing red and foul-smelling smoke issuing from it's mouth. She screamed along with the others, letting her head fall back, letting the wind run gentle fingers over her wide-spread palm, catching bits of it in between her fingers before releasing it into the night sky. They looped again and she smiled as the others screamed behind her. A girl squealing loudly that she was going to be sick.

Stumbling off the ride, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, nuzzling the top of her head. "Having fun?" he asked.

"Tons," she replied, voice lilting a little. She spun out of his grasp in front of the speakers, putting on a small show, hips swaying in time with the music. He grinned as a crowd began to form, watching her lose herself. Or maybe finding herself.

_She had fallen asleep in the back of the car, stretched out on the backseat, a warm coat draped over her small frame. Dark hair framed her face and she snuggled closer to the coat, inhaling the scent of Mommy. Her fingers were sticky from the bag of cotton candy Mommy had finally let her buy and her cheeks were pink from the wind and cold._

_The car slowed and she felt it jerk as it hit a bump, and then another. Slowly she began to sit up, looking out at the lightening sky, blinking tiredly. "Mommy?" Her voice sounded small and frail, even to her own ears._

_"Hush baby, we'll be there soon. Here, have some Cola and lay back down," Mommy replied, handing her a cup of coke with a straw. She sipped slowly, yawning wider as they passed into wheat fields. _

Guys were whistling and she was grinning, enjoying the attention. She raised her hands into the air, dancing around and letting her head fall back as the wind played with her hair. Some guys were leaning in, wolf-whistling to her and she smiled back at them. Odd glared at them, grabbing her arm and dragging her away.

"What's up?" she asked, tilting her head as she looked at him.

"Nothing, I just thought we could go on another ride or something..."

"Oh..sure. Sounds great," she said smiling. "How about the Ferris Wheel?" she asked.

He smiled back. "Okay."

They made their way to the giant wheel, waiting in line behind screaming kids and lovesick couples. The wind picked up again and Odd reached over, wrapping an arm around her waist. She smiled back at him, resting her head on his shoulder.

_She awoke inside a dimly lit room. It was sparsely furnished, just an old bed, bureau, and bookcase. The wallpaper was peeling off and the whole room smelled old and moldy. She scrunched up on the bed, trying to see, before making her way to one of the doors in the room._

_It led to an old bathroom. The faucets were rusty, as was the tile in the shower and tub. It was dingy and smelled bad. The lights were dim here too and buzzed loudly. A glint on the wall drew her eyes to a cracked mirror and she saw a pale face looking back at her from around the cracks. She turned, hurrying out the door and closing it quickly. _

_The second door opened onto a hallway. Peeling paint and the smell of cat urine seeped through the walls. "Mommy?" she called out softly._

_"Oh baby, what are you doing up?" _

_Her mother came from one of the rooms, dressed in a nightgown and robe, tying it shut as she approached. "Where are we Mommy?" she asked tiredly, rubbing at her eyes._

_"At an old friends'. Here, I'll get you some soda and you'll feel better," she said. She disappeared down the hall, returning a few minutes later and handing her a soda. "Drink up darling," she crooned. She felt tired again, yawning as her mother led her back into the room._

_A man appeared in the doorway. "We'll finish later, I want her while she's still out."_

They were wandering through town when the first snow started. She grinned, laughing, and tilting her face up to the white flurries. The clock struck twelve and she sighed, looking at Odd. "It's magical, isn't it? Like the snow was waiting for midnight, for the magic hour, before it started falling..." she trailed off and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close.

"Completely," he agreed. He leaned in, kissing her gently and she sighed. "Come on, we better get back."

"Do we have to?" she asked.

"Yes Sam, come on," he laughed. She sighed again as they headed back toward her house and Kadic. Their paths split at the school and she continued on to her house, glancing up at the snow.

It was her favorite time of the year, the time of the year when everything was given a fresh start. A clean slate. She wished life was that simple. She pulled her key out, unlocking the front door and slipping inside.

"Samantha. So nice of you to join us."

She jerked, looking up and seeing her dad leaning against the doorframe leading to the living room. "What?"

"You've kept Mr. Evans waiting for almost an hour. I hope you know how to make it up to him," he told her. He grabbed her arm, leading her into the living room. "I'm sorry James, it seems she lost track of the time. Nevertheless, you'll get your money's worth. Don't worry." He shoved her in front of him. "Sam, why don't you show James your room? I'm sure he'd like to see that."

"Sure," she said dully. "This way." She turned on her heel, leading the way back to her room.

**S**he lay in bed, she didn't want to get up. Yes she did. She wanted to be clean. Needed to be clean. The urge rushed through her body but she couldn't move. Couldn't even move as the door opened and her mother entered, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"How you feeling darling?" she asked, brushing back her hair. She managed to turn her head away. "I know you don't like this, I don't like it either baby, but we're doing this for you. For your schooling. For university. You need money to go to a university," she murmured. She sighed and stood. "I'll let you get cleaned up," she said finally, leaving.

She stood quickly, barely making it to the bathroom in time as she vomited into the toilet. She sat back, wiping her mouth with her hand. She felt sick still, nausea building in her stomach, burning her throat, but there was nothing left in her. Nothing.

The water was on in the shower. She didn't remember turning it on... She rubbed her temples, everything was foggy. She couldn't remember, didn't remember... She stood, flushing the toilet and entered the shower, feeling the water scald her skin. One more cut wouldn't hurt. One more slice wouldn't matter.

One more...one more...

_"Hi, I'm Odd."_

_"Is that your name, or your personality?" she laughed._

_"Name," he shouted over the music. They wandered outside onto the patio, away from the music. "You're a great dj," he said._

_"Thanks. The name's Sam," she said, holding out a hand. He laughed and shook it. "So, what're you doing here?"_

_"Just here for the party," he replied. "You wanna dance?"_

_"Love to." He led her back inside the room where the music pounded from the speakers. Someone else's turn to play dj. She was here to dance. "You don't go to the local school, do you?" she asked._

_"No, Kadic." _

_"That's...nice."_

He was worried, he hadn't seen her in days. He looked at Ulrich who was sitting on his bed, flipping through a sports magazine. "Your going to look for her, aren't you?" he asked idly.

"I'm worried Ulrich. I've called and called her cell and nothing. Nothing. No answer. And the last time I called it went straight to voicemail!"

"So...why are you still here?"

Odd grinned and took off running. So Ulrich wasn't pissed that he and Sam were together again, that was one less thing to worry about. He ran to her house, the driveway was empty, windows dark. Not necessarily a good sign.

The back door was open and he entered, looking around. Silence. "Sam?" No answer. He made his way to her room, looking this way and that. Nothing. He opened her bedroom door, it looked ransacked. Clothes were everywhere, the drawers of her dresser scattered.

"Sam!"

A creak sounded then the house was silent. The bathroom door was partly open, and he walked over, shoving it open. "Sam?" It was pitch black inside, he fumbled along the wall until he felt the light switch and flipped it on.

His stomach churned and he felt ready to throw-up. The floor of the shower was red, blood having seeped into the tile. The mirror was cracked, red running along the hairline fractures, painting a spider web of blood. There were bloody clothes stuffed inside a hamper, half hanging out, and a razor in the trash can.

"Shit," he muttered. This was _not_ good.

**Author's Note:** Well, there you have it. The new chapter. Expect more soon since I'm home sick for the next two weeks. Joy of joys.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the song "Hurt." It's by Johnny Cash. I'm only borrowing it cause I love it and it's what inspired this fic to begin with.

**Pairing:** None really.

**Note:** _Italics _happen in the past. **Bolded** words are lyrics.

**Rating:** PG-13/14

**Warnings:** Erm...none really this time. Except for brief drug references.

**Author's Note:** ANOTHER new chapter! Wow. And...it's within the same week. :dies: Lol. I'm really surprised but it was roaring to be released upon you. A side note, this chapter is dedicated to my friend Katie because she's awesome.

She groaned, opening her eyes slowly. She was in the car, the backseat, country music twanging through her head. She tried to sit up but couldn't muster the strength. The windows were tinted but it still appeared to be night outside. Her head was spinning and she closed her eyes again, willing the nausea to go away.

**I hurt myself today  
To see if I still feel**

"Is she awake?"

The seat in front of her creaked and she felt a cold hand touch her face. "No. I think she needs a doctor."

"It's to late for that, check her breathing and pulse. Still there? Still strong?"

**I focus on the pain**

**The only thing that's real**

**The needle tears a hole**

**The old familiar sting**

**Try to kill it all away**

**But I remember everything...**

The hand was back, in front of her nose and mouth. She smelled lilac. "She's breathing. It's shallow." The hand moved to her neck, it brushed back her hair and fingers pressed against her pulse. "It's here. Erratic. I'm telling you, she needs a hospital!"

"Shut-up Elaine!"

She heard a pop followed by a short cry. "Jimmy, she needs a doctor." The radio was turned up.

**What have I become**

**My sweetest friend**

**Everyone I know goes away**

**In the end**

**And you could have it all**

**My empire of dirt**

**I will let you down**

**I will make you hurt**

Her cell went off, the ring jarring through the song playing. Her eyes opened minutely, they were pulling off onto the shoulder. "Where is it?"

"I don't know Jimmy!"

Cold hands patted her down, pulled off something warm and felt along her pockets. She looked down and saw it lying under the front seat. _Odd..._ her mind latched onto it. Her fingers twitched, wanting to reach for it but she couldn't move. No strength.

"Doesn't matter anyway Elaine. It stopped." The car pulled out again and she sighed softly, her eyes closing again.

**I wear this crown of thorns**

**Upon my liars chair**

**Full of broken thoughts**

**I cannot repair**

**Beneath the stains of time**

**The feelings disappear**

**You are someone else**

**I am still right here**

_She wandered through the streets, her fingers running against the buildings and fences. Her body ached but she sighed happily, looking up at the full moon. She looked over at the building she was passing, Kadic. How many nights had she wandered this same street, gazing at that same window in that same dorm? To many. _

_He had moved on, she had to as well. She turned away, taking a different route. It was the first time she had found them. They were in the Park, a few kids from the school that she occasionally attended, sitting in a gazebo, wreathed in fog. They invited her in, taught her how to slice the right way. Taught her how to use the needle. What was good, what wasn't._

_And then she had met him in her haze, the world spinning wildly beneath her. He had gripped her shoulders and had her sit on a bench. His name was Jimmy. _

**What have I become**

**My sweetest friend**

**Everyone I know goes away**

**In the end**

**And you could have it all**

**My empire of dirt**

**I will let you down**

**I will make you hurt**

_He was the first one that found out. He had seen the scars. He had vowed to protect her. She had gone to him again and again and they had made plans. To escape. To run. To never return. _

_Her father had found out. He had beat her. Pain, blood, emptiness. Jimmy had come that night, tried to get her to run away. She refused, couldn't move, to tired. Father found them, he and Jimmy got into a fight. She had left, through the window, and had run away. Had ended up at the school. And Odd had found her._

**If I could start again**

**A million miles away**

**I would keep myself**

**I would find a way**

She awoke in the next town. She was laying on a bed now, the curtains drawn over the windows, a desk lamp on low next to the bed. Jimmy was sitting next to her, running a washcloth down her arm. A needle next to him on the night stand. It was empty.

He smiled at her, brushing back her hair. "Hi."

"Jimmy...where are we?"

"Your safe now." He smiled again and stood, the washcloth was streaked red. He entered the bathroom, rinsing it and she looked down at her arm with some difficulty. It was stitched up neatly. He returned with gauze, wrapping the stitching in it. "Go back to sleep Sam. Tomorrow's just a few hours away." She nodded, smiling thinly.

"Thanks Jimmy..."

Her vision blurred and she sighed, sinking into a dreamless sleep for once.

**Author's Note:** Well folks...my fic's drawing to a close. I think there will be maybe one more chapter and epilogue or just an epilogue. Depends on what I'm inspired to do. I want to thank all of you who have stuck by me throughout this fic. Thanks.


	8. Epilogue

**Pairing:** Past Odd and Sam, hints at Ulrich and Yumi, Jeremie and Aelita

**Note:** If there's a subscript next to it, it's at the bottom. **Bold** means scene change.

**Rating:** PG-G

**Warnings:** Nothing, brief talk of death.

**Author's Note:** This is the last chapter. The epilogue. It was a long road that finally drew to a close. I want to thank everyone who read and stuck with this fic. Your reviews inspired me to continue. A special thanks goes out to my best co-author, RenaYumi. She really kicked me into updating again, without her, half this stuff would still be in my head and not available for you to read. So with that said, this chapter is dedicated to her. Ems, I hope you enjoy it.

**He** sighed, it had been a year since he had last seen her. He had called the police on her parents, telling them about the bathroom. They already had them in custody and her parents never said where her body was. They were still awaiting sentencing.

It was like some twisted nightmare, like what happened with Elizabeth. He couldn't protect her then and he couldn't protect Sam now. He sighed, resting his head against the brick building. It was grey out, it was always grey, almost always raining.

"Odd?"

He looked up, giving a small smile when he saw Ulrich walk over to him. "Yeah?" he asked, pushing off the wall.

"We're leaving for the Tower, come on." He turned to go and paused, looking back at the blonde. "You okay?"

"Yeah Ulrich, I'm alright. It's just...the if's are still there. I guess I have the uncanny ability of attracting self-destructive abused girl friends wherever I go, huh?" he asked, kicking a stone out of his path as they joined the rest of the class.

Principal Delmas had decided it would be best if he expanded his student's knowledge by allowing field trips to different places to help them understand better. This time it was London, England. They'd already seen West-Minster Abbey, Big Ben, and Parliament since they're arrival three days ago. Now they were on their way to the Tower of London, then Buckingham Palace. At least it had stopped raining.

"Don't say that Odd. You don't even know if she is dead," he pointed out.

"Come on Ulrich, where else would she be? I think she would've called. And the police put out a missing person's report for her, no leads. She's dead Ulrich. Those jerks killed her and buried her and we'll never find her," he muttered as the took their seats in the bus. Yumi, Aelita, Jeremie, and Emily who had started hanging out with them recently, sat down around them.

"It'll be alright Odd. Trust me?" Ulrich asked. Odd just shook his head, resting his forehead against the glass window and watching as droplets of rain began to slowly drizzle down. Perfect.

**Odd** groaned as the tour guide continued to drone on. It was a beautiful 43 degrees out and he was freezing. He shoved his hands deeper into his jacket pockets and exchanged a look with Ulrich. Boring.

"Oh my lawd! da Taaahr 'as 'oused lions, bears, an' even today flightless ravens. Needless ter say, i' was also _Gates ov Rome_ ter notorious traitors ov da crown, framed members ov da caaahrt, lords an' ministers, clergymen an' knights. Lumme!(1)" the tour guide, a charismatic youth of twenty named Edward Doyle, explained.

Ulrich looked at Odd. "Do you understand a word he said?" he whispered.

"Nope. I think that's the point," Odd whispered back. "Hey, I wanna go for a walk. I'll catch up with you later?"

Ulrich looked uncertain and then shrugged. "Alright. I'll text you when we're heading inside, alright?" he asked. Odd nodded and slipped away when Jim was looking the other way.

He wandered the grounds for a bit, walking on the wet grass that was slowly sloping downward. He finally stopped at a crumbling wall, sitting on the lowest part and sighed, breaking off pieces of it and hurling it at the tower wall.

"Stupid. So stupid. I should've notified the police before. When she first told me.." he muttered. He hit his head lightly against the wall and then looked up at the sky again. It was heavy and grey, more rain on the way. In another week it'd be the anniversary of her death. He had made a make shift grave by the river where they used to swim. A stone with her name and the years she was alive etched into it. He would have to put fresh flowers there.

He glanced over, looking out the gate at the street beyond. Cars honked at heedless pedestrians that ran out into the middle of the street. He saw a cab pull up and a guy got out, holding the door open and offering his hand to the passenger inside. A girl with long blonde hair exited and stood next to him, talking to the inside of the cab. Another girl took his hand and he froze, staring at her. She had short, wind-blown hair that was about chin-length and was dressed in a long skirt and blouse. She laughed with the girl and shoved the guy lightly. She looked so much like Sam...

He got up, getting ready to approach them when his cell began to vibrate. He pulled it out and sighed, looking at the message. _On our way to entrance. Hurry up. _Ulrich always had perfect timing. He'd blame the guide with the hard to understand accent.

**After** they finished eating, Yumi, Aelita, and Emily all went upstairs to the room they were sharing to have a "girl's night" as they called it. Odd smirked when he saw Ulrich and Jeremie. They had no clue what to do with themselves.

"Why don't you two go to the arcade or something?" he finally asked.

Jeremie looked at him in surprise. "Will you be alright?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes Jeremie. I'll be fine. I'm going to go wander around outside if you don't mind." He pulled on his jacket, storming out of the hotel room before Jeremie or Ulrich could react.

"Didn't mean to upset him," Jeremie muttered. Ulrich shrugged, gathering some loose change for the arcade.

Odd sighed as he walked outside into the back courtyard. He heard laughter coming from inside, through the open French doors on the other side of the terrace. He shook his head, he knew he was only feeling depressed because of the approaching date, because of the girl he'd seen earlier.

Sam had always liked the English culture, she'd let it slip once when they'd watched Pride and Prejudice. Which he swore not to watch ever again, it was to girly. He had wanted to bring her here one day, he never got the chance.

"I'll be right in, I just need a bit of air to clear my head!"

He looked up as the girl he had seen in front of the Tower wandered through the doors and entered the courtyard. She was oblivious to his presence, staring up at the night sky and swaying a little. He took a breath and walked over to her.

"Excuse me?" he asked.

She turned around, looking surprised. "Hello?" she asked. He noticed her accent, definitely English, and smiled a little.

"I'm sorry, you just, remind me of a girl I used to know. Do you mind...what's your name?" he asked, watching her. She just looked so familiar, so much like her.

"Isabella Darrow. I go by Bella," she replied. She looked uncertainly to the open doors, then smiled at him. "And yours?"

"Odd. Odd...Della Robbia," he muttered.

"Pleasure to meet you Odd," she murmured. "Enjoying London?"

"Er..yeah. It's cool if not wet."

She laughed again, so familiar yet different at the same time. "I seem to remember France being wet as well."

"Yeah well...wait. How do you know I live in France?" he demanded, eyeing her. Maybe...He refused to let the thought form in his head.

"Your accent," she replied after a moment of hesitation. A shadow fell across the stone terrace and Odd turned to see the guy from earlier standing in the doorway.

He looked at Odd, then at Isabella. "Bella?" he asked.

"It's alright James," she said, smiling. Even the smile was familiar. "I was just talking," she added. She looked at Odd. "I hope you enjoy London," she added. She turned and entered the hotel and James looked at Odd once more over his shoulder as they walked away. "Where's Elise?" she added loudly as they disappeared through an archway.

**She** sighed, tossing her jacket onto the couch in the suite Jimmy had rented for them. Elaine looked up from the chair where she was painting her nails. "Something wrong?" she asked when she saw Jimmy's expression.

"No...just ran into someone I hadn't expected," Sam replied, sitting on the couch and nodding when Jimmy offered her a coke. "I don't think he recognized me," she added, running her hand through her hair. She still wasn't used to it being so short, or without any streaks of red. But it was part of their disguises, all of them.

Jimmy sat next to her, handing her the soda and smiled grimly. "It'll be alright, I doubt he did, your accent was flawless _Bella_," he stressed.

"Yes James, I know, I've worked on it," she sighed.

"So what now?" Elaine asked, capping the bottle of polish and wiggling her now lime green toe nailed toes to help them dry. "Are we leaving?"

"It'd seem a bit suspicious leaving tonight...we'll wait until tomorrow," Jimmy finally decided. Sam nodded, throwing her head back and taking a deep gulp. He rubbed her back and looked over at Elaine. "We don't want anyone to raise any questions." She nodded and then reached for the remote, flipping on the television set, finding some obscure movie to watch.

Sam stood, yawning as she stretched. "I'm gonna shower and turn in. I'll see you both in the morning." She wandered into the bedroom she shared with Elaine and then into the bathroom, showering quickly and dressing warmly. She reentered the room and looked over at the desk. The hotel stationary beckoned to her and she walked over, pulling out the chair and sitting stiffly, picking up a pen and beginning to write. She sealed it in an envelope, addressing it to a Mr. Odd Della Robbia before packing her suitcase and laying out her clothes for tomorrow, tucking the letter in it.

She slept restfully that night, aware of every turn Elaine made, every sound in the room. The next morning she dressed quickly and made warm oatmeal and toast for breakfast. Jimmy and Elaine met her at the table, mildly surprised, but smiling. They ate silently and then Jimmy announced that it was time to leave.

She and Elaine waited in the lobby as Jimmy checked them out. "I'll be right back Elise, I want to see what's keeping James," she said, smiling. Elaine looked uncertain but nodded and Sam walked over to the check-out counter, smiling at the receptionist. "Can you give this to one of your guests? He's with the school group - blonde hair and purple clothes," she whispered. The woman nodded and she walked over to Jimmy, smiling at him. "How went the check-out?"

"Fine, we're already." He grabbed her bag, slinging it over his shoulder and took her elbow, guiding her and Elaine outside. She glanced back once and saw him entering the lobby, she looked away quickly. That was the past, she was her new beginning._ Un Nouveau Commencement_... "You alright?" he asked as they hailed a cab.

"I'm perfect. Thanks again."

"I promised I'd protect you," he murmured and she nodded, smiling at first Jimmy, then Elaine, before entering the cab.

**"Sir?" **Odd paused, looking over at the receptionist. "Sir, I think this is for you," she said. He walked over and she handed him the envelope. He stared at it for a moment before opening it and reading it quickly.

_Odd-_

_I haven't much time before someone enters. I want to say thank you, for everything. You were my knight in shining armor. I hope that with time, you can learn to forgive me for all that I have put you through. Perhaps Ulrich was right with not trusting me. Don't look for me anymore, I'm safe, I'm happy, and I'm being cared for. I don't know where I'll end up, I'll try and write to you again, in time. You were the first to care and I will never forget that._

_Samantha Isabella Larson_

"Odd?" Ulrich asked, approaching. He shook his head, letting Ulrich read the note before folding it up and putting it back in it's envelope. "She's...alive?"

"I saw her Ulrich. I talked to her. I never would've known she was her, I suspected, but I didn't know..." He sighed, and looked around as they approached the front of the hotel where the tour bus had pulled up.

"It's okay, at least you know she's safe, right?" Ulrich asked. He nodded mutely and looked down at the envelope again before ripping it in two, then in half again, tossing it into a trash can. "Odd?" Ulrich asked again.

"It's the past Ulrich. It's time I moved on," he said, sighing. Ulrich smiled and wrapped an arm around Odd's shoulders. "It was time a long time ago..." he whispered.

(1)_"The Tower has housed lions, bears, and even today flightless ravens. Needless to say, it was also home to notorious traitors of the crown, framed members of the court, lords and ministers, clergymen and knights..."_

**Author's Note:** And that's it. The end. Fin. Done. Through. That's all folks. A bittersweet end, but how did you like it? I made it longer just for you people!


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